German efficiency is a myth, part whatever.

(Alternate title: Rude people, crappy weather and incompetent companies: This place is getting on my last nerve)

I held practice exams on Monday for our students taking Cambridge exams in June to make sure that the would be signing up for the right level and also to help them to experience Cambridge exams all at once instead of piece by piece like we do in class (the exams are about six hours long). I did it on the first day of the testing session so that we could get them sent back to Cambridge to be electronically graded and the results sent back to us in time for signups next month for the official exams to be held in June. I also spent a couple hours verifying that everything was exactly how Cambridge wanted them so that the notification of the results would not be held up (there’s a very small window between getting the results back and signups).

After I finished all of the above, I sealed the box and had the secretary call DHL and give them the dimensions and weight of the box as they had requested an hour before the deadline they had given us six days prior. The secretary then put the box where anyone of the secretaries could find it so that there would be no question when the DHL person came to pick them up yesterday, as DHL had told us they would do on 11 March the first time we called to request the pickup and also on Monday.

Great, I thought. Everything will be fine – thinking of the .only good experiences I’ve had with express carriers in the US and Poland.

WRONG!!!!!

I walked into the office after my incompany classes late yesterday morning and to my astonishment, the package was still there! I asked the secretary (the same one as yesterday) why and she told me that DHL hadn't honoured their pickup date (nor had the called to tell us that they couldn't).

Then I remembered that DHL is owned by Deutsche Post and it all became clear. This is the company that:

1. Once sent a letter to my apartment telling me that they couldn’t send letters to my apartment;
2. I went away for 2 weeks in December 2002 and stopped my mail for 2 weeks by filling in a form they had given me. I came back and went to collect it and was told that I was home too early to collect my mail. I wasn’t due back for another six weeks – they had stopped it for two MONTHS! The woman then told me that I had to pay the fee that had started in Jan 03 for stopping my mail, but I reminded her that I stopped it in 2002 and told her I wasn’t going to pay for it. She them advised me that I’d have to call to the post office across town to get it started again, and I said, ‘I’m not doing ANYTHING! It’s Deutsche Post’s fault and YOU’RE going to resolve this issue for me NOW!' I had my mail the next day.

What’s the big deal? First of all, they hadn’t followed through with what we had been told twice and wouldn’t even give an explanation! Secondly, this is a SERVICE that is BEING PAID FOR (and it’s not cheap)! Thirdly, I’m tired of companies deciding that I don’t want what I really want. Examples:

1. I want to be back in my town at X time, but Deutsche Bahn decides I want to be back there thirty minutes later.
2. I want DHL to pick up a package on 11 March, but they decide that I really want it picked up on 12 March!
3. LTU decided that I didn't need my bag when I got to Bangkok on 21 December and flagged it to be delivered after I arrive there for some odd reason (and nobody there knows why - or will admit to knowing why) and brought it on 22 December.

If we compare apples to apples, FEDEX was never anything but completely reliable when I lived in the US. I remember their slogan from yesteryear, ‘When it absolutely has to be there overnight’. It always was when I used them. Even the time I had to get something from Phoenix to Jacksonville by noon the next day. FEDEX picked it up at 20h AZ time (23h FL time) and it was there by 8h FL time (5h AZ time). Well worth the money paid.

Now, thanks to more German incompetence, we might not get the practice exam results back before signups – which cannot be changed after transmitted to Cambridge.

Quite frankly, DHL TOTALLY SUCKS!